Ratchet is a Hallowe'en Scrooge
by Childhood Creations
Summary: Ratchet has figured out that he really doesn't like the human holiday of Hallowe'en... Work Safe. Part of "Kaiba-5's Remains", which is temporarily down.


**The Scrooge of Hallowe'en**

Rating: T (Fa'teens)

Written by: CosmeticDoll  
>Pairing: OCIronhide (Though it doesn't play that big an impact)  
>This is a oneshot for a story I haven't even posted yet themed for Hallowe'en!<p>

So, Ratchet is the Scrooge of Hallowe'en, didn't cha' know?  
>Hope you enjoy, happy Hallowe'en all!<p>

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><p>Bumblebee walked into the Autobot base with Sam, the two dressed up as the other. Ratchet peeked out of his office and looked at them closely for a moment. Bumblebee had even gone into his Pretender form and was wearing clothes that had to be Sam's for they were just shy of being too small for Bumblebee to wear.<p>

"Sup!" Bumblebee radioed in what was a recording of Sam's voice, Ratchet looked at them confused. Why were they doing this?  
>"Howdy there, partner." Sam motioned to Ratchet in a western tone, playing that he was using radio stations to talk. Ratchet rubbed his temple and took a long exhale before meeting the two's gaze.<br>"Why?" Ratchet asked simply, not sure what more was needed to be asked.

"It's Hallowe'en, Ratchet." he heard Ironhide call from behind him and then the crack of a whip. Ratchet's face fell when he saw Ironhide in his holoform and dressed as a lion with Scorp following behind him in a lion tamer suit and her hair in a 1920 fingerwave style. Her lips were a bright red that even the colour blind could have seen. "She made me." he gruffed to his old friend, Scorp taking her chance to pounce on his back. "I thought I was the lion?" Ironhide asked, trying not to fall from her attack.

"You are!" she smiled at him, "He's the lion as a symbol to just how whipped I have him." everyone but Ratchet and Ironhide laughed, "Don't be a poo. You know it's true." she kissed his cheek and hopped down.

"I'll be whippin'-" Ironhide had begun until Scorp threw up her arms over his mouth, saying something about how the topic was inappropriate in public. He just laughed at her in a deep villainous laugh that made Ratchet glad to know Ironhide was on their side and not the Cons. If he ever heard a Con laugh at him like that before a fight, Ratchet would just say 'Slag this.' and leave. He heard Ironhide growl deep within his throat and he got a kiss for 'being a good lion'. If growling was all it took to get a kiss around this place then Ratchet wanted to know where all his kisses were.

Being a Pretender like Bumblebee, Scorp had much easier time than the others who had to use holoforms to blend in with humans. Many hints of just who they were sometimes would cling to their holoform, but with Pretenders it wasn't the case. Many of Ironhide's scars and marks that littered his body were all visible against his darkly toned skin, and his eyes remained icy blue. With Scorp, this was not the case. Her natural form was red and a deep silver, as a Pretender she had green eyes that were entwined with gold, her hair a dark violet hue. Pretenders didn't glitch unlike holoforms that did on the rare occasion.

"Nice clown fest." Optimus said as he walked by with his nose buried in a datapad he was holding, "Be back at a decent time." he waved to them, his eyes never leaving the pad nor ever stopping.

"What is Hallowe'en?" Ratchet asked, Sam gasped and took Ratchet aside, Sam needed to have a 'man-to-boy' talk with Ratch.  
>"See here, Ratch, it goes like this..." Sam had began, leading Ratchet to his office and closing the door behind them.<p>

Ironhide looked at Scorp, she looked back at him and then to the door. Bee sat down on the railing by the door and watched it intently. They watched the never-changing door for what had only been five minutes before Ratchet and Sam walked back out. They were arguing about something,  
>"What a stupid holiday!" Ratchet roared at Sam who was defending the idea that to holiday wasn't all that bad, nor stupid of a holiday.<p>

"Don't you like candy?" Sam asked Ratchet, his feelings seeming obviously hurt. Ratchet had replied with a flat 'no', Scorp stared at him with wide eyes.

"Have ye' no spark?" she looked at the medic with sad, pitiful eyes, he again simply said 'no', "You're like the Ebenezer Scrooge of Hallowe'en." he tilted his head, convinced at this point that she, as well as the others were taking this too far. "Come with us, we're going to the elementary and giving out candy to all the kids at the school." she smiled brightly and he sighed, he honestly had no excuse that could keep him here without them all continuing to beg and plead with him to coming along.

"Fine." he grouched and left, returning in his holoform a few minutes later. Scorp gave a disgusted look and demanded he change. "What's wrong now?" he barked, earning a rather defensive glare from Ironhide. _What happened to 'Bros before hoes'? _Ratchet thought, though he understood.

"You're not in costume!" she told him to go put on a monkey suit, only by 'monkey' she meant formal and that confused him more. What type of 'dress up' did they want, when did 'formal' become dressing Ironhide up as a lion or effectively switching places with your car? Ratchet simply complied and sulked back to them, Scorp had a mask in her hand when he returned, a confused look crossed his face as she tried to put it on him, "Frankie Scorp, get that thing away from me!" she pouted and continued on, nobody bothering to help thanks to Scorp and Sam's informing them on what 'Bro Code' was.

"You'll be the Phantom of the Opera!" she giggled, more excited that she finally got the mask on then she probably should have been. Was it really _that _big a deal?

"Uh...?" she waved her hand slightly, signally that she was going to ignore further questioning from him. She took Ironhide's outreached arm and held it as if they were going to a high-class ball. Bumblebee and Sam grabbed Ratchet, making him stick close to them. They all shoved themselves into the Topkick and listened to 'Hallowe'en songs' as Ironhide drove them in himself to the Elementary school.

"Madame Frankie, good you made it, your students have been begging us to find you." a woman called, racing over to them with her tennis shoes and 'PTO PARENT' shirt flashing like it was a trophy to be her. Ratchet looked around, soccer moms... _everywhere_.

"They are such dears." she smiled, "this is my mate, I- Ron." she'd about called him by his real name before catching herself and playing it off. "My friends, Beasley, Doc Ratchet, and Sam." the mother smiled widely, showing she had a pair of plastic vampire teeth in her mouth.

"It's nice to meet you all!" she clapped her hands together, "I assume you're all here to help Frankie pass out candy and be of entertainment?" she assumed too much from Ratchet- who was apparently 'Doc' now. He could live with that.

"Yeah!" 'Beasley' said, pretending to be Sam while Sam smiled and threw a fist in the air.

The halls were crowded with children dressed from princesses and demons. Mothers, fathers and siblings abound, all of them dressed up as well. "Reach for the sky!" a voice called from behind them, Scorp turned with her hands in the air, Sam and Bumblebee did the same, Ironhide and Ratchet looked at each other and had their defenses up. A little boy in a cowboy outfit had a plastic toy gun pointed at them, "Bang! Bang!" he shot at Ratchet and Ironhide, they both just stared at the boy with a confused look on their faces. "I shot you! You're dead! You have to fall down!" he cried, shouting "Bang!" again and looked like he was tearing up as they still didn't fall, Scorp kicked them both lightly on the back of the their legs and Ironhide pretended to fall. Ratchet stood stock-still, not sure why he had to fall onto the crowded hall's floor.

"Doc, you're suppose to fall. He's 'Woody' from Toy Story." Sam whispered, nudging him.

"Drake, where is Buzz and Bullseye?" Scorp asked, having bent down to his level and smiling at the boy.

"In the room!" he told her, grinning from ear to ear. "Why didn't he fall?" he pointed at Ratchet with an accusing finger. She turned with a gasp on her face.

"Doc, you need to fall. Not falling makes you a cheater." she wagged a finger at him and he let out a long, irritated sigh. Grumbling, he finally went onto the floor and kept grumbling as he sat there for a minute, the little boy giggled and jumped onto Ratchet.

"What th-?" he growled, Scorp giggled and helped Drake situate himself on Ratchet's shoulders. "You. Owe. Me." he glared at Scorp with deathly intentions that wouldn't be fulfilled at anytime.

"Ride like the wind, Bullseye!" Drake shouted and shouted "Bang, bang!" he shouted loudly as Ratchet was forced to follow Ironhide and Scorp to her classroom. Typical she'd be the school head science teacher.

"Hey, kids!" she called loudly, there were many kids in various costumes and with bags and buckets in their grasp. "How are you all?" she asked with a wide smile and picked up one of the girls who was dressed as a geisha.  
>Drake jumped down and ran to two other kids Ratchet assumed was 'Buzz' and 'Bullseye'.<p>

_Why would a kid want to dress like a toy horse? _

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><p>After two hours, it was finally 8PM and Ratchet was proud to say he survived the kid party.<br>"All right, drive safe Miss Frankie!" another PTO mother hugged Scorp tightly, with a large smile. "It was nice meeting all of you." she grabbed a little boys hand and walked off, a woman walked up with a chest that rivaled Scorp's bust. She smiled at Scorp happily and she simply held out a hand, Scorp taking the woman's hand and they kissed each others cheeks.

"Hello, Frank." she pulled from Scorp and then she shook Ironhide's hand, "Hello, Ron. It's good to see you made it with Frankie." he nodded, returning the smile to the woman.

"Principal Lovelady, it's so good to see you in good health today." Bee and Sam then shook to woman's hand. "This is Beasley, Sam and Doc Ratchet." Lovelady took a long look at Ratchet and shook his hand a bit longer than she had to anyone else. Ratchet kept staring at Lovelady, he lingered a bit longer than needed, but he did eventually turn away from her once he noted the ring on her finger.

"Good night, Principal, I will see you tomorrow bright and early!" Scorp gave Lovelady a light hug and they all headed off.

"This holiday sucks." Ratchet frowned as they packed into Ironhide and began their way back to base.

"It only sucks because she's married." Scorp laughed and put a hand on Ironhide's leg lightly with a light smile.

"Happy Hallowe'en!" Bumblebee and Sam shouted loudly from the back seat with Ratchet between them, more annoyed then he had been all night.

"Scrooge." he heard Scorp mumble as Ratchet whacked both the boys on the back of their heads.

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><p>Happy Hallowe'en everyone! Hope you enjoyed and had an amazing Hallowe'en!<br>Review if you would please.

Edit note: There IS a space between all my italic words, LibreOffice just makes them look like one. I'm fixing that as quick as I can. Thank you all! **kisses**


End file.
